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Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
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5:19 pm - blah
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so, i'm currently sitting at a computer in one of the activity rooms within a complex that i call home. i hate this place, someone save me please.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, June 10th, 2004
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2:42 pm - hahaha
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i was in ireland. now i'm in scotland. tomorrow i'll be in london. where are you?
suckers...
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, June 3rd, 2004
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12:14 am - off to europe i go!
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| Monday, May 24th, 2004
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2:30 pm - i'm so tired my mouth tastes like sleep
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never again shall i stay up all night in order to finish awful english assignments. never again shall i bow down before a pile of overdue math worksheets. never again will i be so happy about leaving a large cluster of stale buildings. the joys of graduating... almost hear, too close to be real, to far to make me worry. though i suppose three days isn't far off at all. hmm, i never actually planned to graduate, just eventually drop out and squander about. why can't i ever acomplish any of my goals?
current mood: back up mode
current music: Free Bird
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, May 3rd, 2004
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10:53 pm
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MasaPat: she was 20, and had a 6 month old daughter
MasaPat: she also had epilepsy and was slightly mentally disabled
goonerido: shit, a lot of crap really has happened
MasaPat: she died from a seizure she endured
MasaPat: at tinsletown actually
MasaPat: around the time i was there actually
MasaPat: though i didn't see anything, just heard the sirens taking her away
goonerido: I'm sorry
MasaPat: apparently my teacher got there first, before the paramedics...
MasaPat: she tried to revive her
MasaPat: she couldn't so when the paramedics got there they tried, nothing happend of course
MasaPat: she died right in front of her own mothers eyes
MasaPat: and left behind a child...
MasaPat: i...
MasaPat: i don't know how or what to feel
MasaPat: it's almost too awful to imagine for me
MasaPat: so much pain
current mood:  sad
current music: sunshine of your love - Cream
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
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12:47 pm - damn you rockapella
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I've been reflecting quite a bit on my move to napa, and i've decided i don't want to go. however, there's nothing for me here except for friends, memories and love. of course all of these are much more important than any job secured for me in napa. unfortunately the job is my only long term gaurentee. looks like it's off to napa for max come the end of june.
i spent an hour downloading all sorts of rockapella songs. rockapella was introduced to me by my lovely friend lilly. damn that girl, damn rockapella, it's all too good.
current mood:  curious
current music: Rockapella - for the longest time
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, March 27th, 2004
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10:26 am - welly welly welly
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| Sunday, January 11th, 2004
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12:38 am
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MasaPat: i think drinking will solve all my problems
sarcasticrobot: you're stupid.
sarcasticrobot: not really.
MasaPat: haha
MasaPat: you're sweet
MasaPat: you're not comming on to me r u?
sarcasticrobot: i could take you to a party, but i think you'd absolutely hate it.
MasaPat: oh i would
MasaPat: i don't want alcohal
MasaPat: maybe pain killers
MasaPat: like a knife
MasaPat: or a sharp piece of glass
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, December 29th, 2003
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12:55 am - fire is always a good idea
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so it's been a while since i've updated. i haven't had much to right about lately. went through another girlfriend a little while ago. she didn't talk much. i helped destroy a deck yesterday after moving a hot tub. we used the wood from the deck to build a nice bon fire. ate pizza and tried to roast marshmellows without buring myself to a crisp. i've kind of been seeing a girl recently. she's very nice but i don't see anything serious comming from it. i'm waiting for female to return from trip. i suppose we have a lot to discuss. she left with me unhappy and her very confused. no one makes me upsets me more than that damn girl. perhaps thats what happens when u care about someone. u begin to become bitter and cynical. in the end u hate them because they make u feel vulnerable. oh la la, l'amour. i've been through three girlfriends since summer and a couple of flings, this is not a healthy thing most likely. ahh, what's happend to the golden days when i was happy to get a smile from the opposite sex. this is obviously everyone's else's fult, it certainly could not be mine. denial, almost as good as love. this is true, no?
current mood:  amused
current music: silence
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, October 10th, 2003
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7:36 pm - oh well
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well anya and i are no more. we decided that it was best to end it before either of us became too attatched. this was definetly a good idea, i mean, my heart still belongs to another. i guess that's just the way it is.
current mood: sad
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 14th, 2003
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11:39 pm - gawrwga
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| Sunday, August 10th, 2003
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1:22 am
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1:21 am
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| Monday, July 28th, 2003
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11:05 pm
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You represent... apathy.
You don't really show any emotion. You can be
considered cruel and cold, but you just don't
really care about anything. This is just the
way you are... you're quite a challenge to get
close to, and others may perceive you as
boring.
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, July 6th, 2003
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12:07 am - so...
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well, i am single once again. ryan broke up with me. hmm, it was kinda sudden. i wasn't really expecting it. took me by surprise. i don't know really how to feel about it. i'm sad i suppose. i liked her a lot, but i might as well not dwell on it. it's late, which explains why i'm sad. i'll feel a lot better in the morning. it was only a month after all. ick, i hate being broken up with. it's so... uncomfortable and awful. i would prefer her to just disapear. that would have been easier. oh well, i'll get over this. i always do.
current mood: sad
current music: none
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, June 30th, 2003
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11:36 pm
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so i have this idea.
a slightly slow witted boy who lives in a trailore with his alcoholic father and drugie mother has a little red book containing the story of a knight and the rescue of a princess. very classic story of course. anyway, this boy is pushed around constantly by people at skoo. i've decided that overexaggerating the abuse won't be too bad, it worked well in "welcome to the doll house". anywho, the story starts out with him simply being obsessed with the story, but after a while, fiction and reality begin to mix, and he starts to try and live the story. all sort of embarrasing things happen to him as he trys to rescue a girl from her woodby caprtures. she is of course the most popular girl in skoo who has a soft spot for the boy, but would still never have anything to do with him. she seems to adore the boy who gives the most grief to our tragic hero. every hero needs a sidekick, so this boy is pared with another who is just as unpopular but not quite so... nuts. so anywho, reality and fiction mix and the story ends with our hero opening fire apon the bullys while trying to "rescue" the princess. if this is a movie, then it should slip from regualr piction to surreal slightly more brown picture, u know, almost like a glare from the sun, something like that. i've had this idea for a while, i think it's fun.
i detest democrats and republicans, and many other things.
ryan is my favorite person in the world right now.
i have a new hat, it is also fun.
i've decided that in order to be happy i need to accept that the world is full of people that i don't like, or i can run ayway and live by myself, and ocassionally spend time with people. i'm just so incredably angry with people, even those who i have called my friends. of course i haven't told anybody this, and it's not all the time. it's just been getting more frequent lately. i just want to run away, and hide in a corner. a dark corner where no one will ever find me. i guess, i just don't care, at the moment anyway, about what many of these people have to say. ha, especially people i don't know. haha, because if i did, i would have to realize that i don't hate everybody, and that in itself would make me unhappy.
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, May 12th, 2003
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6:06 pm - still sick
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so i went to the doctor today. as i suspected, she just told me to drink a lot of fluids and gave me a perscription for some antibiotics. thats what doctors do when they don't know what's wrong with you. isn't it great. i had the dreams again last night... i don't want to sleep tonight. i would rather just stay up than face them again. i told my parents about them. they just smiled and said that they understood. they think that i'm exagerating them, or i'm just making them up. they don't seem to get it, though it's not like they could do anything about it. my father doesn't believe me when i say that the nightime medicine doesn't work. he just thinks that i don't take it correctly or something. i can feel the sweat of a fevor on my face as i write this. it's going to be another lond night.
current mood:  sick
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 11th, 2003
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11:21 pm - sick
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hmm... i'm a little worried. i shouldn't be, but i am. i used to get sick a lot. i went to the hospital a few times, eventually they had to put me in an ice bath to bring the tempurature down. i found out a while ago that at one point my mother was questioning whether i was going to make it or not. i knew that i would be fine eventually. it's just... i haven't been this sick for a while. this can't happen right now. i can't get pneumonia or bronchitus, or strepthroat. i can't get any of those right now. i have too much to do, too many things to figure out. i'm sure i'll feel better tomorrow. it's probably just all in my head. i just needed to get this out. i should probably get to bed... but the dreams, the dreams are aweful. whenever i get this sick, my nights are filled with nightmares and hallucinations. i need sleep however. it would be easier if my greatest fear wasn't not being in control of my mind. this will all be over soon. i'll be fine tomorrow, and i will go back to skool on tuesday. everything will be ok.
current mood: sick
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, May 5th, 2003
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8:00 pm
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7:30 pm - ha
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You are Gambit!
You are a fierce fighter and a good friend to have.
Your preference for solitude and your
attractiveness make you very intriguing to
those you meet. Unfortunately, close
relationships are few and far between for you
because you often have trouble opening up to
others.
Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla
i told you so kelly!
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(comment on this)
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